Particle and nuclear physics, Macedonian fairytales, literature and religion criticism, a BANAL real-life experience of my own…oh, my! This piece is hard to understand if you’re not crazily educated. All I can advise you is to read about solar neutrino problem and figure out what is the biggest known nuclear reactor.
I wish Dinka could see this. She taught me physics in high school and she kept on saying that she wants to polish me until I’m a diamond. Sometimes, that would result in deliberately giving me a B even though my work was for A. Wonderful, dreamy, sensitive woman that she was (and probably still is) with thick-rimmed glasses and wearing kinda hippie clothes out of late 60s, she didn’t appear to be a person teaching something rational. I too used to think that the combo of a person literally telling us dreamy tales in classes and the things she was teaching had nothing in common…today, however, I completely understand how such a combination was working.
Problem solarnih neutrina
Prešao je sedam mora i sedam gora,
odgurnuo blistavu damu u oblacima,
preleteo onoga što mu dade smaragde,
i našao se u kuhinji oholog Gospoktora.
Zidovi su bili prepuni ptica što leteše previsoko,
na stolu su stajale spremne suze od hleba,
i veliki lonac prepun svetlucavog mleka,
svetlost nije bila čarobna, već samo bolna.
- Šta češ ti ovde, gnjido?
Ja takve jadnike jedem za doručak,
završićeš udrobljen u moje mleko,
samo li me budeš gledao u oči.
- Šta ću ja ovde, Gospodaru?
Želim da me Ti ispališ poput đuleta,
jer sam neću moći natrag u svet,
a ne moram da te gledam, ti uvek gledaš mene.
- Uzmi gutalj ovog mleka,
skoči sa ivice mog stola,
osciliraćeš kako niko nikad nije,
pobedićeš i brzinu svetlosti,
ako kažeš drugima, postaćeš kamen,
ako dođeš ponovo, dokrajčiću te.
Popio je mleko, pripade mu muka,
sledećeg trenutka bio je gama
i više niko nije mogao da ga vidi,
niti je mogao u bilo koji acelerator,
sem onoga koji su odavno premestili,
…zar to nije u surpotnom smeru?!
Kao da je sa drugog sveta,
kao da je…kao da je podlegao
problemu solarnih neutrina.
…
Izvukla sam se iz ljušture ustavice,
ne mogu da osciliram kao taj neutrino,
ne ide mi, ipak sam samo beta.
Prokleta da si, mrzim te, Velika mašino!
Orezano drvo krvari prvim zimski pupoljkom,
sneg je svetlucao čistom lepotom snova,
mrak je bio prijatan te tako obične noći
i tada se pojavio neko ko nikad neće doći
- Ne vidiš me, no sve vreme sam tu!
Nije li to okrutna igra, odbijam tvoje kontrazrake!
Nećeš mi nikad navući tu savršenu belu košulju,
ti si Njegov neprijatelj, ja sam Njegov vojnik.
- Vidim te, no sve vreme žmuriš, čemu sve to?
Zar misliš da u ravnoteži ne može da čuči ljubav?
Nisi postao kamen, ali si mi reči bez pitanja oduzeo,
i ne veruješ da su i slobodni putnici neutrini.
- Uzmi parče ovog tvogmog ničega,
neka te sneg zaveje sa mojim tragovima,
tvoj četvorougaoni svet ne može da me prati,
u tvom svetu neće eksplodirati boje,
tvrdiš da je ovo jaka interakcija?
Tvrdiš da nas Gospokator može svesno trovati?
Kao da je sa drugog sveta,
kao da je…kao da je podlegao
problemu solarnih neutrina.
__________________________________________
Solar neutrino problem
He crossed all of the seven seas,
Pushed away luminous lady in clouds
Flew over the one who gave him emeralds
And ended up in the kitchen of the Lordactor.
The walls were full of birds that flew too high,
Tears of bread were ready on the table,
together with a full pot of sparkling milk,
the sparkles weren’t magical, just painful.
- Why are you here, you nit?
I eat miserables of your kind for breakfast,
You’ll only end up soaking in mu milk,
if you dare to look straight into my eyes.
- Why am I here, oh, Master?
I want you to fire me like a cannonball,
I cannot make it back to world on my own,
And I don’t have to look, you’ll always look at me.
- Take a sip of this very milk,
Jump off the edge of my table,
You shall oscilate the way nobody ever did,
You will even beat the speed of light,
If you tell others, I’ll turn you to stone,
If you dare to come back, I’ll finish you off.
He drunk the milk and got nauseous,
The next moment he turned gamma,
And nobody could see him anymore,
Nor he could fit into any accellerator,
Apart from one they moved ages ago,
…isn’t that the other way round?!
As if he were from some other world,
As if he had, as if he had fell victim to
The solar neutrino problem.
…
I got out of the suckerfish shell,
I cannot oscilate like that neutrino,
It’s not working, I’m only beta after all,
Damn you, I hate you, Big Machine!
Trimmed tree’s bleeding its first winter bud,
The snow’s sparkling with the pure beauty of dreams,
The darkness is pleasant, it’s an ordinary night,
And then there was the one who’ll never come.
- You can’t see me, but I’ve been here all along!
Isn’t that cruel of me to send back your contrarays?
You’ll never put that perfect white shirt on me,
You’re Its enemy, I am Its soldier.
- I can see you, but your eyes are closed all the time, why?
Do you really think love cannot be crouching in balance?
You didn’t turn to stone, but you took my words without asking me,
And you don’t believe that free wanderers can be neutrinos.
- Take a piece of this mineyours nothing,
May the snow hide you together with traces of me,
Your four-angled world cannot follow me,
Your world is where colours won’t explode,
You claim this is some sort of a strong interaction?
You claim that the Lordactor has the heart to poison us?
As if he were from some other world,
As if he had, as if he had fell victim to
The solar neutrino problem.
